Envy
by Smokey-eyed-Beauty
Summary: When she told him about school, Cagalli had wanted to lighten Kira's mood, not make it worse. ONESHOT [eps.2829 of seed]


**This fic was supposed to be part of another fic, but then it got to long so I gave the honor of being it's own fic (does that make sense?). Anyways, this takes place sometime between eps.28 and 29 of SEED, when Kira's helping out Morgenroete. Think of it as Kiracaga if you want to, I'm not really sure if it is or not. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED and am feeling to lazy to say something witty about that fact.**

**Now for a shamless use of this fic to settle some personal matters... junon2! If you're reading this, don't worry, I haven't given up on your fic!**

**Ok everybody, enjoy**

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**"You have no clue how much I envy you!" 

Kira looked up at the girl he had only just recently learnt was Princess of Orb in a mix of shock and curiosity. He and Cagalli had only known each other for a short while now, and they were always surprising one another with what they had to say.

"What's there to envy?" he asked, believing his rather depressing words. Cagalli stared at him like she often did, with a look that clearly told him he was an idiot.

"Plenty!" she exclaimed frustrated, "You get to come here day after day and work with mobile suits, battle simulations and what not, but me? Am I aloud to help? No, I have to school and _ugh_ study. I don't see how that's going to help any of us!"

"Oh, that's right," said Kira after a moment, "Miss Erica told me about that, it would seem that you put up a real fight before they were able get you anywhere near your school." He let out a small chuckle, but was instantly silenced by the quiet, yet dangerous sound of the girl next to him growling. "Though I'm surprised you didn't just take off after they left you there," he added quickly. Cagalli's growling stopped and she laughed a bit. Who said flattery didn't get you anywhere?

"I would have, but sadly, Father is smarter than that. He had guards lurking around the school to make sure I didn't do just that," she said bitterly, and then, noticing Kira's clueless look, she added, "we're not on very good terms right now, he's always paranoid when we fight, thinks I'll run away (again)."

"With good reason," remarked the young coordinator, unable to help himself.

"It's not like I would have gone far!" snapped the natural next to him, "not now…I probably would've just come here to check up on you. Make sure that those Astray dimwits aren't driving you crazy…" she trailed off, her facial traits freezing into a pout. "ARGH! It's just not fair!" she cried out after a tense moment of silence. Kira, unsure, put his hand on her back and left it there. "You join the military and when you get here everyone's all excited to see you, they bombard with attention and suck up to like there's no tomorrow. The give you a freaking military secret to work on, a secret which, may I remind you, we're not too keen on you Earth Alliance guys knowing about, and me, what do I get? About a million lectures on what a bad girl I've been and a slap on the face from the man who has built his career on his so-called pacific ideals! And then after all that, what do they do with me? They send me to school so I can, and I quote, _catch up on my studies_! As if I could learn something at that _institution_! All this because I ran off to Africa and helped out a few people who needed it!"

For a second, Kira couldn't help but think that his newest friend was acting a bit selfish. He and his friends had been forcibly thrown into a war they had all wanted nothing to do with and here she was complaining about school. That said, he suspected that she really couldn't help herself. While Kira got to run around Morgenroete playing super-mechanic, Cagalli had been forced to return to school, or as she called it, the institution. Though they had only _really_ known each other for a month or so now, the teen knew his spitfire acquaintance well enough to guess that school wasn't really her thing. No, the Orb princess seemed to be more attracted to all things concerning the war then something peaceful and unexciting like her studies. Or, to be more precise, the Orb princess seemed to be more attracted to all things concerning ending the war then her studies. And besides, no normal teenager liked the idea of being forced to go to school.

"I really envy you," he mumbled after a moment, taking his arm off her back. "You have no clue how much I envy you."

"What?" asked Cagalli, her eyes expressive with surprise and bafflement. She looked to Kira, who, at that time and place, felt the urge to tell her everything. Athrun, Lacus, the little girl in pink overalls, Fllay…everything. "Me?" the blond girl asked again, "is it because I'm a princess, because I can tell right now that being royalty is nothing that it's cracked up to be." And then the urge was gone. Kira suddenly wished he had never brought up the subject. He looked back at his unobservant friend; she wasn't going to let him leave without an explanation. Sighing heavily, he tried to come up with a compromise.

"You're so normal. I'm not. Normal kids don't want to go to school; they want to run off headfirst into some sort adventure, like you do. I'm tired of this damn adventure and I'd eagerly trade in my place in the military for a spot in school." He looked to Cagalli. She avoided his gaze, but was listening intently nonetheless, he could tell. "I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of this war. I wish things could go back to the way they used to be. You don't know what it's like to never be able to go back. You might not like it, but nothing's changed for you. Everything you knew before you left is still here and still the same. All the people you left behind were still here when you came back. Your home is intact, you were able to come back. I envy for that, I'll never be able to go back."

Cagalli wanted to retort and tell him that things had changed for her too –that she wasn't the girl he had met at Heliopolis, but he got up and left before she had the chance. _Great_, she thought to herself, _you've just made things worse_. Sadly, she watched him walk off, his shoulders hunched and his eyes following his feet. It was then that she decided she would follow him aboard the Archangel when it left -even if it meant betraying Orb.

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**Wasn't that good, was it? Oh well, spur of the moment thing I felt the unstopable urge to post. As always, reviews are very appreciated. Peace out!**


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